Strapped for cash before the biggest party of your life? You’re probably staring at the computer screen thinking, “Yeah, no sh*t.” Well, guess what, baller in training, we got you, fam!
There is no wrong answer with beer, unless you’re bringing Kirkland Beer, in which case, I guess the host can water the plants with it. Mike’s Hard Lemonade is cheap, but the beauty of it is that no one will say no.
Rules of Life: 1. Be yourself. 2. No one says no to Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
Beer too obvious? Bust out the Smirnoff! In today’s economy, we can’t just bring Ciroc and party like DJ Khaled. We ain’t ballin’ like that. Smirnoff Ice, available in multiple flavors, will set you back 20$ for two six packs. Our experts in “Ballernomics” say that’s what we call a good deal.
You knew this was going to be on the list. It’s like getting your wisdom teeth extracted; no one enjoys it, but it’s almost a rite of passage. The gym-bros will love you, the host will thank you, and everyone else will hate you the next morning, but who said being a hero is all fun and games?
Chips are risky, but for you budget-ballers out there, it’s a risk you might have to take. Everyone brings chips, so you might as well bring chips you enjoy. (That means no Southern Biscuits & Gravy Lays.) Not to mention, for 10$, you can bring on the family-sized bags! Now, that’s a college-educated decision.
If you’re in college and poor, you might already be familiar with this American-style Mexican Garden of Eden for students. For 12.99, you read that right, you can bring a gang of tacos to the party. Who doesn’t love tacos? No one, that’s who.
This might be boring and it probably won’t get you brownie points from the other partygoers, but the host will definitely look at you like you’re a Messiah bearing the perfect gift.
Remember: the host’s opinion is, really, the only one that matters at the party.
Pizza is a party favorite and anyone who says they don’t like pizza is a liar and cannot be trusted. (They know their way out.) Little Caesar’s knows the budget-baller’s struggle, so if you’re really on a budget, they’ll take care of you.
If the champagne, or Mike’s Hard Lemonade, is popping, then donuts are a fantastic idea. The dough soaks up alcohol and the sugar keeps you going all night long. It’s kinda the perfect thing to bring to the party.
When I was a Sophomore, I remember going to a party and this kid in a Kings of Leon shirt brought a bucket of fried chicken. The boy didn’t go home alone. Lesson: Fried Chicken is delicious, cheap, and tastes amazing with cheap beer.
We saved the best for last. Now, when you think of the word “hero,” you’re probably thinking about Superman or the inventor of Beer Pong, but bringing ice to the party is the best way to ascend to the pantheon of party heroes everywhere. Save the party. Bring ice.